Facing Fear

This morning, like every morning, I woke up, opened my eyes, and took a breathe, just like every other person out there that is lucky enough to wake up to another beautiful day.

Sometimes I like to just lay and think, and other days, I get right out of bed and start my day. Today, I chose to lay and think because I had the luxury to. I noticed that fears kept popping into my head as I was doing so. Fear of getting out of bed and looking at myself in the mirror, fear of my senior year of college starting up, fear of not getting organized in time, fear of not making my cousin’s birthday special enough, fear of not being the best I could be today, and the list goes on and on. It didn’t even hit me how much fear was running my life until I walked out the door a couple hours later to head for lunch with my Aunt. As I opened the front door to reveal the glass door, I saw not one, not two, not three, not four, but five bees resting on the inside of my glass door!

I screamed and jumped back and started to run away to notice that they weren’t following me. They were flying towards and away from the glass repeatedly to try to get outside. They were directly by the door handle that was my only way to exit my house. How did they get here? What the hell was I supposed to do?

I told myself.. you’re literally going to have to face your fear here, because there is no other way out, of this house, or of this fear. The only way out is through. After minutes of getting close to facing the bees and then pulling away, and then repeating that again and again, I told myself I had enough. Face your damn fear of these bees! What’s the worst that can happen.. you get stung five times? Sure it’s gonna hurt, but the fear itself hurt way more because it made me feel like I was stuck. I was not stuck. I was not going to let fear hold me back. I was going to lunch with my Aunt and these bees were not going to stop me. I told myself to run to the door, unlock it, and hold it open. I was hoping that in the middle of all of that, the bees wouldn’t sting me, and would just fly outdoors and be thankful to be outside again.

1..2..3.. run, grab, unlock, hold, pray.. Before I knew it, the bees all flew out into the morning sky and I had faced my fear, literally head on! I stood there for a moment, taking in what had just happened. I still didn’t know how or why they were in my foyer. But, I took a moment to be thankful for that unexpected experience. I physically needed something scary to put in front of my own eyes in order to make me realize that I was letting fear run my life way more that I should be recently. I was being held back by all of these “fears” which aren’t nearly as scary as I make them out to be. Just like those bees trying to get out, I was no longer stuck.

What are your fears? Which are real and which are illusions? Which one can you choose to face head on today? Can you face another one tomorrow? Choose love over fear. This is a daily practice. It starts over every single morning and you may have to practice it more than once a day. It is challenging, but it is worth it.

What would you do today if fear were not in the picture?

Go do it, while you’re still breathing. Every breathe is a gift. Don’t spend another one living in fear. Choose love instead ❤

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