6 Reasons Why Wanting What You Can’t Have is Out of Style

We’ve all been there.. wanting the person we can’t have. It’s like a club that you’re a part of at some time in your life, even if you don’t try to be. I used to be the president of that club. But, I realized how bad that club is for my heart and I’ve joined a new club.. wanting what you have instead of wanting what you don’t and here’s 6 reasons why…

  1. Mind games are for teenagers. Mind games are for those who are scared. Mind games are for those who do not know what they want. People don’t really know this, but, there are people out there that will be straight up with you.. that will tell you what they want AND will show you how they want it. These people actually exist. We all know that actions speak louder than words. And the crazy thing is.. it’s not weird when someone makes the physical effort to show that they want you. Actions are sexy. They take effort. They take courage. It’s real. Go for it.
  2. “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield. Need I say more? Well, I will. Rick was quoted saying, “He was getting it and I wasn’t, and it was really tearing me up. And sexual angst is an amazing motivator to write a song.” We’ve all felt sexual angst and that is probably the #1 side effect of wanting someone you can’t have. Stop taking this poisonous pill and know that there are healthier alternatives. Why can’t Rick find a woman like that? Because he’s focusing on people that aren’t available in some way and you may be doing the same.
  3. Yoga teaches you that it’s important to honor your body.. this means actually listening to it and what it wants. “A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.” And these people do so much damage to themselves and whoever they are leading on. I think it’s time to ask yourself if you really want something or if you just like the chase. Because constantly getting the rush from the chase is nothing compared to getting the rush of finding the one. That’s what they say at least, and I choose to be a full believer of that. Do you?
  4. I learned how much of an honor it is to FEEL. The good, the bad, and everything in between. Being that I spent most of my life wanting, I never actually got to spend a good amount of time feeling. You see, there is something so safe about wanting someone that is unavailable. You think you’re feeling the whole time, but you’re only pretending. You can convince yourself how “perfect” they are and how “perfect” life would be if they were to suddenly become “emotionally available.” But, the only thing that is perfect here is the fact that you can put so much energy into someone and not have to worry about anything too real happening. How far will you go to make someone want you back? What happens when they do? The real question you should be asking yourself is: how far would you go to make that person make the effort to be with you? Oh shit. Now what? Then it’s time to stop being safe. Then it’s time to get real, and very few people like that.
  5. As a Rowan student, we’re all kinda sweating today after the social media threat of violence on a nearby Philadelphia campus. Let me ask you something.. if something like this happened to you, and you knew there was a scary-as-hell chance that something could go terribly wrong, wouldn’t you regret spending your life going after the ones that don’t appreciate how amazing you are instead of the ones that would do so much just to call you theirs? How many times have you said no to love and said yes to the game of it? Life’s too short. Start saying yes to love.
  6. As tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.” So, what does this all mean? You want someone? Are they available? Are they unavailable? Tell them either way. Tell them if you really feel it in your heart. Tell them even if you think you’ll be denied. At least you’ll know you did all that you could, instead of always wondering. And if they aren’t there to catch you when you poured your heart out to them, then they won’t be there throughout even harder times in your life either. And that is a horrible but amazing lesson to learn. They are the ones that are going to suffer the most because they don’t know what they want. And you do. You want love. And you will find it. Just keep looking in all the right places. Start wanting what you have and you’re halfway there.

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