“Do you have a boyfriend?”
The infamous question every girl has been asked more times than we would all like to admit.
I never thought that that my answer to this question would ever be yes. Ever. Until I met him.
And every optimistic, annoying, overdone quote out there suddenly all made sense. You know, the ones like, “It’ll happen when you least expect it,” and “You just haven’t found the right guy yet.” I believed all these too, for all girls out there, just not for me. I thought I was the exception to the rule. I wasn’t like my friends that craved someone to cuddle with when it was storming outside, or wanted to be taken out on cute dates to spontaneous places, or wished that they had a love like the ones in movies like The Notebook, Titanic, and A Walk to Remember.
I thought I was a free spirit that was never meant to be tied down. And now I know why.
Our society, especially my generation, has so many false assumptions about relationships.
Why do we think that being in a relationship means that you will be told who you can and cannot talk to? That you have to hide your phone and delete your texts? That you’ll never be able to do your own thing or be your own person? That you’ll inevitably forget about your friends? That this is the end of your freedom, rather than the beginning of it?
Because that is what we’re used to. And because this is what I grew up with seeing, I thought being in a relationship was a death sentence. And I didn’t plan on “dying” anytime soon.
Then I embarked on a cross country road trip with my two friends and taught yoga across the states. Not only did this open my eyes to so many beautiful sights, it opened my heart to so many beautiful feelings. And suddenly, the phrase “tied down” was transformed to “held up.”
Real love is out there. Not the constant arguing, or the jealousy, or the secrets, or the lies. Not the name that was changed in the phone so you wouldn’t find out he’s texting a girl, not the controlling, manipulating mind that gets mad every time you talk to a boy or don’t tell him where you are, not the fights that happen all too often over things that don’t even matter, and definitely not the stupid mind games. No. Real love. It’s out there.. but the key is to stop looking.
You see, there comes a time in your life when you actually learn to love yourself. You’ll know if it’s happened to you or not yet. And once it does, you’ll realize there is love in everything. You’ll feel love even through the pain. And you’ll attract love wherever you go. It’s really as simple as that. We just choose to make it incredibly complicated as human beings. It’s kind of like a science.. when you love everything about yourself… the “flaws” & all.. then you can be your true self at all times. You’ll feel no need to pretend, to hide, to be ashamed, to lie. You can be you.. which will allow you to finally attract someone genuinely meant for you. When you love yourself, you realize that your mind, body, & soul only deserve the best. Once you finally understand this, the best will pop up right in front of you. You just have to have an open heart in order to receive it.
And once you do, you’ll never feel so free.
That is why I feel the most free I have ever felt in my entire life.. ironically.. at the point where I am in my first relationship. I feel free to be me and to let him be him. There’s trust, there’s honesty, there’s communication, there’s respect, there’s strength, there’s beauty… there’s truth.
Giving a woman total freedom is the act of a truly secure, confident strong man.
And when you combine two secure, confident, and strong people… they create a secure, confident, and strong bond. Balanced relationships are always based on freedom, not obligation.
There is no need to be tamed. Only to be wild and free, together.