Where You Are Is Not Who You Are

Today has been a little weird. Running late, trying to make plans, reflecting back on the weekend, looking forward to this weekend already, and not really knowing what’s going on.

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. I was supposed to work a dinner shift tonight, but got someone to cover. I knew I would need time just to be.

I came home from the yoga studio this afternoon and anxiously ate.

I can’t quite put a finger on what I’m feeling, but what I do know is that I want to curl up in a ball and sleep for days.

My life has been heavily scheduled lately. Last time I wrote on here, I was about to graduate college. And now, here I am, graduated! In this moment, I am sitting on my couch in my new apartment.. something that never happens. But I need to do some self-inquiry.

Since graduating college, I was hired at Olive Garden and Lululemon! I love these jobs and they both provide me with a good balance by being part time at each.

My week looks like this:

  • Monday: Fair Trade Front Desk at Grow Yoga 9am-1pm, work at Olive Garden 4-close
  • Tuesday: day off filled with yoga, meetings, appts, housework, planning, studying
  • Wednesday: morning yoga, work at Lululemon either 12-7 or 4-close
  • Thursday: morning yoga, work at Lululemon either 12-7 or 4-close
  • Friday: morning yoga, pick up a shift at Lululemon or Olive Garden
  • Saturday: morning yoga, work dinner or lunch at Olive Garden
  • Sunday: work at Lululemon 10-3, and if I’m up for it.. dinner at Olive Garden 4-close
    • On Sundays: Pete and I do our weekly gratitude ritual

This is my life right now. I like it. I like working at Lulu, being surrounded by people who care about health, yoga, quality of life, community, and love. I like working at Olive Garden despite the high-stress server life. I get to connect with about forty guests one on one every shift. Some turn into exchanging business cards and most end up talking about yoga 🙂

But, I want more. One of Lululemon’s many foundations is goal setting. If you look at the featured image of this post, I have attached my vision and goals sheet, which was required in my hiring process!

This is what I want..

  • to enroll in a skin care specialist program to understand my skin better and help others with theirs
  • to travel to India to learn about the roots of India, to better understand my health, and to bring what I have learned back to America
  • to travel to Macedonia because that is where my boyfriend is from and to travel to Italy because that is where I am (mostly) from
  • to enroll in massage therapy school to learn how to heal others with my touch
  • to be a part of two additional types of yoga teacher trainings, on top of my vinyasa, Baptiste-Inspired, and yin teacher trainings
  • to open my own yoga studio with my husband’s physical therapy practice

These are my personal and professional goals and I can taste them all.

Sometimes I get discouraged. I won’t lie. With not much in my bank account after paying off car accident damages from the past, starting to grow up and pay my own phone and health insurance bills, and everyday expenses of food shopping and gas, it’s easy to feel unmotivated. But when that comes up, I breathe. I listen. I believe.

I believe I can achieve ALL of those goals. I can bring meaning to my work in this moment. On the outside, it may just seem like I am selling yoga clothes and serving Italian food, but on the inside, I am making every opportunity to connect with people, to create a smile, to manifest greatness, to cultivate love.

Today is a confusing day. I am trying my hardest to do what’s best for me. Although it seems trickier than usual. I decided to take off of work, write this blog post, inquire about the skin specialist course, do some reading, take a yoga class, and eat lots of leftover food from our housewarming party.

Who knows man, who knows.

All I know is that my mom would be proud. I know it. I get to celebrate her birthday tomorrow with family and I am grateful for that.

I am on my way to great things. I just need to tune into my patience, gratitude, courage, hope, and love. I may not be rich financially, but I sure am rich with experiences, memories, relationships, and love.

Where you are is not who you are. You are love. I am love. We are love. And the moment we all realize that, is the moment the world will change forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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